As a family, we each have different needs and strengths. One constant aspect of our lives is planning ahead so that we don’t run out of spoons. This means being realistic about how much we can achieve each day, how much help we will need from each other, and how much recovery time we will need.
Spoon theory is a popular metaphor which describes our mental/emotional energy as a set of spoons. We have a finite amount of spoons each day and, when they are used up, we cannot do any more. Some activities use more spoons than others and we have to be careful not to use too many spoons early in the day and not leave enough for the necessary evening and bedtime routines. It is important to remember to pace ourselves not just in physical energy but also in our mental capacity and emotional reserves.
This weekend, I am going to attend the same event twice. Once with my family and caring for their needs and once by myself while they recover at home. We only came to this plan in the last few days when we tried a few things out and realised that we didn’t have the capacity as a family to do everything at once. This is why advance planning, collaboration and negotiation are such an important part of the PDA support toolkit. You will often end up adopting solutions that you would never have thought of yourself but, if they work for everyone, then they are not wrong!
Photo by Elise Wilcox on Unsplash