Do we want to raise children who are unquestioningly obedient or do we want something more? Most traditional parenting and school behaviour approaches focus on compliance – getting kids to do what they are told – ideally without question or delay. However, being obedient is not usually good for adults. In fact, such “people pleasing” can make someone vulnerable to bullying and abuse.
If we want to build skills for the future, then we should model adult strategies for negotiation, collaboration, and problem-solving from an early age. Doing so empowers children and respects their autonomy. It allows us to better understand and validate their feelings. And, it is a win-win for everyone – we are all working together towards a shared goal. Most of all, it is compassionate.
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